Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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