Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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