Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize
