would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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