you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize