i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
