I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize