Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
