sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
