Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
