Where is the hickey?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?â€
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
