I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
do herpes really smell.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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