I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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