Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
