Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
