I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
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