Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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