Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
