is your mom at the bar?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
