Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
