I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
