Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
