You really coming over, don't trick.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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