Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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