did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
