i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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