My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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