I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
