Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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