I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
