saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
