Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
