How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
