Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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