He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
