I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
thus making me awesome and them whores
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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