ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize