At least make sure they are 18
Why
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
