your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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