had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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