he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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