But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
