Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
