doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
