Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
