i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
