look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
