so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
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I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
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three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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