I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
