do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
