i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
