Betty ford says i'm here all night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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