Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So squirting runs in the family.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
