I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
