My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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