Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
