cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
