i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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