you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize