This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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