I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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