I like my sex mixed with concussions.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize