Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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