They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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