I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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