i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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