I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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