Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
