she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
