I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
